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Crisis Committee
Chair (at time of dissolution) joecphillips
Founded June 2015
Dissolved May 2017
Membership 10
Known as CC
Website
Crisis Committee

The Crisis Committee was a cross-party group formed of 1 representative from each party, the Speaker, the Deputy Speaker and the Foreign Secretary. However, parties did not have to put forward a representative if they were unable to do so.

The committee's aim was to create hypothetical crises that the Government had to respond to. It could also create crises based around real life events. During its existence, it created 11 crises. Each term it was expected to produce a minimum of six crises but it never got close to achieving this target. The rules of the Crisis Committee were laid out in the Crisis Committee Constitution.

History

In April 2015, PetrosAC created an amendment, seconded by That Bearded Man and several other MPS, that if passed, would see the creation of the Crisis Committee. This amendment passed and at the end of May, then-Speaker Birchington, requested the parties to put forward a representative.

However, there was a lengthy break of inactivity from the Crisis Committee after this. Eventually, in December of that year, the committee released its first crisis. In January 2016, the new Speaker, RayApparently, decided the Crisis Committee would work better if it had a Chair in charge. That Bearded Man triumphed in the chairship election to become the first ever Crisis Committee Chair. In August 2016, DMcGovern replaced That Bearded Man as Crisis Committee Chair. Just weeks into his tenure, DMcGovern survived a Vote of No Confidence. In December 2016, DMcGovern resigned as Chair and PetrosAC was elected as his replacement.

A few members in the House were opposed to the Crisis Committee from its conception and campaigned see it shut down. In the 22nd Parliament, Nigel Farage MEP proposed an amendment to close the Crisis Committee: the amendment narrowly failed. In the 23rd Parliamentary Term, Nigel proposed two amendments to change the role of the Committee. These amendments would have changed the role of the Committee to bring about closure in all but name but both amendments failed. Despite both amendments receiving for more votes in favour than ones against, they still failed as they were amending the MHoC Constitution as well as the Guidance Document. The Speaker's decision to accept an identical amendment in the same term proved controversial for some. In a desperate attempt to close down the Committee, Nigel Farage MEP even joined the CC and stood for Chair in the hope of destroying it from the inside.

In February 2017, following an unsuccessful attempt within the Crisis Committee to allow party leaders to simultaneously serve as Crisis Committee Chair, PetrosAC stepped down from the role and joecphillips was elected as his replacement. Three months later in May 2017, Nigel Farage proposed another amendment to close down the Crisis Committee. This time the amendment passed with a large majority, closing the Crisis Committee with immediate effect.

Chairs

There were 4 Chairs of the Crisis Committee:

Chair Took office Left office
That Bearded Man January 2016 August 2016
DMcGovern August 2016 December 2016
PetrosAC December 2016 February 2017
joecphillips February 2017 May 2017

Members

This was the final make-up of the committee before its closure:

Member Party Role
PetrosAC Neutral Speaker
cranbrook_aspie Socialist Deputy Speaker
Saracen's Fez Labour Foreign Secretary
joecphillips Libertarian Crisis Committee Chair/Party Representative
Airmed Liberal Party Representative
Quamquam123 Labour Party Representative
Life_peer Conservative Party Representative
Nigel Farage MEP UKIP Party Representative
Aph Socialist Party Representative
Lime-man Green Party Representative

Crises

These are summaries of the crises which were put forward to the Government:

  • Crisis 01 - Flooding in Maidenhead. A severe flood hit Maidenhead. The storm drain was operating at maximum capacity, sewers were overflowing and the emergency services were on strike. Short-term effects of the flood were: submerged railways, collapsed buildings (including schools and hospitals), outbreaks of disease, several people killed and hundreds of people missing.
  • Crisis 02 - Cabinet Meeting Hostage. British Muslims dressed as security guards held the Cabinet hostage at 10 Downing Street. They were shouting 'God is great' and threatening to shoot a Minister every half an hour unless their demands were met. Their demands were for: air strikes to end completely, millions of pounds of compensation for Middle-eastern Muslims, and aspects of Sharia Law to be implemented in the UK. After a few hours, the Prime Minister's advisor was shot dead, the Secretary of State for Defence was shot in the arm, and the police were struggling to enter the building.
  • Crisis 03 - Acinetobacter Baumanni in Royal Victoria Hospital, Belfast. A patient at Royal Victoria Hospital was diagnosed with Acinetobacter Baumanni, a highly dangerous antibiotic resistant infection. The hospital manager required the Government's advice on how to co-ordinate a response. The manager stated that the patient had been put in isolation but he could have infected 10 other patients at the hospital. The manager asked the Government whether the patient should be re-located to London and also whether he should give the patient a dose of the unaffected antibiotic Meropenem.
  • Crisis 04 - Unrest in Northern Ireland. The Belfast City Hall Flag protests and the rumour that the Provisionals were still active caused hass hysteria in the loyalist community, leading to the rise of dissident terror groups.
  • Crisis 05 - Terror Attack at Canary Wharf. In the morning rush hour, a lorry pulled up outside 8 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, and masked men armed with machine guns stormed into the building whilst shouting 'Allahu Akbar!' Special forces arrived to discover that the terrorists had seized control of the building, threatening to kill hundreds of hostages if anyone entered the building. In another part of London, a lorry was mowing down as many pedestrians as it could before it stopped outside 10 Downing Street and exploded, killing many, half-destroying the building and rupturing the the Prime Minister's rectum. The Shard exploded and ten hostages were shot in Canary Wharf.
  • Crisis 06 - Cabinet Capture. A Cabinet meeting was taking place when thrity armed men ran in. The Secretary of State for Health fainted in shock. The man in charge announced that they were 'The Gang'. He said that they had killed the policemen outside and told the Cabinet that they would have to obey the men if they wanted to live. Mr. Whiskers, the Chief Mouser, was stabbed to death. The Gang did have a streak of kindness about them, however, as they allow the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs to cancel his dentist appointment. The Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, who was on paternity leave, heard about the news and travelled to his department to decide what should happen next. The Gang wanted £900 billion in return for the safe return of the Cabinet. A grenade was hurled into the department and the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport just managed to escape in time.
  • Crisis 07 - Falklands Recapture. The Foreign Secretary alerted the Prime Minister that the Falkland Islands had been taken back by Argentina. The Argentinian Government released a statement which said that there was no need for bloodshed and that they would pay the British Government 20 million pesos in compensation. The Foreign Secretary was not convinced that the British could remove the Argentinians swiftly and successfully.
  • Crisis 08 - Brexit Agricultural Unrest. Following Britain's vote to leave the European Union, farmers realised that they would no longer be able to receive subsidies from the EU's Common Agricultural Policy. The uncertainty over the future of the British farming industry led to a NFU protest in London where over 15,000 farmers were causing major disruption.
  • Crisis 09 - Southern Rail Strikes. This crisis focused on escalating the severity of two real life events. Firstly, Southern Rail conductors announced that would double the amount of sporadic striking unless Southern Rail allowed them to operate the doors, they recived a 10% increase in pay, and they were guaranteed job security. Despite a law being in place for an expansion of the rail franchise, Southern Rail were still the only rail operator in the area so they had a monopoly. Tube drivers also announced that they planned to strike, indefinitely for at least 2 months. They were expressing their discontent at the closure of ticket offices and job cuts. This particular strike was predicted to have cost the country approximately £300m.
  • Crisis 10 - Severe Bee Decline. Scientists expressed their concerns to the government about a sudden decline in the UK bee populations. A professor, the British Beekeepers Association, and a zoologist put forward theories that it was caused by the Varroa Mite, an antibiotic resistant strain of the Nosema disease, and an invasion of European Hornets respectively. They suggested that bees should be imported, bees should be bred in isolation by humans, or measures should be taken to develop technology to pollinate crops on a mass scale.
  • Crisis 11 - MHoC NYE Story. This crisis was the first joke crisis and was created for April Fool's Day. At over 13,500 words long, this crisis is by far the longest to date and was set out like a story. Primarily written by Nigel Farage MEP, with help from Quamquam123, the crisis satirised all the members and trends of the MHoC. Following a largely positive response from the members, Nigel promised he would release a sequel in the summer. This crisis would be the committee's last.

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